You Can Tell It’s Monday

I had four unbelievable kid stories that all happened today.  Buckle your seat belts.  It was a bumpy day.

1. One of my friends, Gummy Bear Lush, dropped this on me on her way in this morning.

Gummy: I was absent on Friday because the po-lice came to my house and broke the window.

Me: Why did they break the window?

Gummy: (shrugging) I don’t know.

Me: What did they do after that?

Gummy: They was looking for guns.

Me: Did you have guns inside the house?

Gummy: No, only outside.

2.  Next, a different friend came up to read me her Monday Journal.

imageHere’s a translation in case you don’t read First Grader.

Today is Monday, May 18, 2015.  It is Day G.  This weekend, I went to see my uncle at jail and he [is] going out of jail and for his birthday we had a party and some had money and they kept giving him $20, $20, $20, $20, $20, $20, $20, $20, $221.

3.  While we were at lunch, one of the cafeteria monitors came into the teachers’ dining room to catch her breath for a moment.  She proceeded to tell us that a second grade girl had brought a small bottle of whiskey to the cafeteria and had passed it around her lunch table so that everyone could have a sip.  Well, thank God she thought to share.

4.  One of my students was called to the office for dismissal at about 10:00.  Since it was Princess Nastypants, I was happy to see her go.  So I was surprised when I picked up my class after lunch and she was back.

“You’re back,” I said.

“I had to go get a DNA test to see if my daddy is my real daddy.”

This is why teachers should get discounts at Total Wine.  Good news!  We have twelve days left.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

wpid-img_20150506_071941-1.jpgRead it and weep.  It’s the official flier for the End of the Year Luncheon.

Don’t let its innocuous appearance fool you.  It’s not merely an informational communique whereby we’re told the location of the luncheon along with the cost and the menu.

Nay, verily, I say unto thee ’tis the light at the end of the tunnel.

For after lunch has been consumed, songs have been sung, and prizes have been awarded, we shall all sail off into the bliss of summer vacation.

This little piece of paper will get me through the next twenty school days.  But who’s counting?  Oh, that would be me.

Beware The Ides Of March

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I did this today before leaving for the weekend. Holy cow! How is it March already?!

Monday is our 120th day of school. Zero the Hero stopped visiting after Day 100. On Monday we begin one of my favorite things, The Countdown. You can see the little sticky pad I put up with the number 60 showing. We’ll peel off one of those bad boys every day until we reach 0. By the way, when we reach 10 the numbers are red. Sort of like Def-Con 1.

Monday is also Dr. Seuss’s birthday. We’re celebrating with a pajama party in the O.K. Corral. We’ll spend the day enjoying our favorite Dr. Seuss books. I plan to post photos next week.

Happy weekend to all Instructional Warriors!

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

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Writing a blog is a privilege. It’s an outlet by which one can freely express oneself, explore various topics, and pass along information to one’s followers. And as with any privilege there comes responsibility.

It is with that in mind that I share with you something I learned yesterday from one of my first graders. I was working with my intervention group at my reading table and we were making words in the -ack family. The last word we made was track. My little friend’s eyes lit up. That’s a moment for which all of us Instructional Warriors live.

Then she said this: “Oh, track! If you steal a cell phone, you have to take out the card or else they can track you.”

And so, dear readers, I leave you with this bit of wisdom as you approach the weekend. Don’t say I never gave you nothing.